You're single and content and suddenly ambushed by an intense, intoxicating connection with someone you've just met.
Intense sexual "chemistry" is a high like no other. When does intense chemistry lead to the mother lode and when does it become a death spiral?
Sometimes imprints coincide with sexual awakening such as when a kid views porn for the first time (and the average American does see porn before puberty these days).
The size, shape or ethnicity of the explicit object of desire gets seared into memory. You get hooked on repeated highs of impersonal sex with a particular physical type (masturbatory or with a partner), which hinder you from finding real intimacy in a long-term love relationship.
Good sex is the only thing I actually looking in the relations.
Everything else I can find in friendship or at work with colleagues.
A book called The Centerfold Syndrome captures this caveat well, though it was written before the Internet changed the dating and porn landscape drastically.
Marnia Robinson's blog presents a fascinating look at the ramifications of getting hooked on the highs of intense chemistry. A single mind-blowing encounter becomes your new (impossible) sexual benchmark.
That peak experience needs to be relegated to distant storage so you can focus on discovering unique sexual pleasures within your full-featured relationship without unfair comparators. You read more into a pure lust thing than is really there.For example, your lust partner has said a lot about how attracted he or she is to you but you have learned very little else about each other and no future plans to meet have been made beyond "I'll call you".When your calls aren't returned you make excuses because "the chemistry was so strong!But I would prefer to build my relations on chemistry.I don’t really understand why would I marry a guy if there is no strong overwhelming chemistry?